Ticketing is a dark art…

First it starts with a pre release ticket deal for spark or vodafone subscribers or maybe even visa, you take your rebel soul and you subsume it in desperation, you reward the customers of these beastly entities, if you’re lucky you might get into some ‘partnership’ to curate an ‘experience’

workers sell their labour you sell your magic, everyone is selling, buying and selling and selling and buying, everything is fair game, everything is reduced to a commodity, the real commodity though is bamboozling contracts, which by proxy you are now promoting; via songs you wrote in your room about your feelings. These contracts are now part of you and via you out there sucking souls, hurting heads, requiring 16 years of algebraic learning to make hide or hair,

“If we move you from the friends plan via the mates plan over to the team plan then you’ll get 16gbs of full speed minus 30gb of half time night time minutes locked in for 36 month over a 16 month no return break out party clause”

And then once you’ve exhausted that, you start on the early bird, pre release, get in quick limited before they’re even been numbered tickets,

And then so on and so on until the last minute just released seats deals etc

What I want to know who has these seats? How can we negotiate their release? Are they political prisioners?

Why are they viciously trapped in the same way a solo parent might be into a predatory phone contract?

Whats going on?

Is this shamanism?

Hustlism?

Capitialism?

Its all beyond my pay grade

but c'mon you rock n rollers

FREE THE SEATS

After all that though, the artist might reach the holy highs, the HOLY GRAIL of the rock n roll fleece “progressive pricing”,

SEE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN SING SONGS ABOUT WORKING PEOPLE TO FRONT ROWS FULL OF RICH PEOPLE JUST $3000 A TICKET

Phew its hard out there,

Especially for the journeyman folk singers

Our 1 ticket-one seat-one price-sell em all or none at all-philosophy is not catching on,

my no ticket under our control more than an hour and half of minimum wage plan, has not caught fire,

The promoters are not knocking down my door, the deafening applause of the public has been drowned out by the sound of crickets and an empty room,

I turn to my side kicks in the eastern and they form like an army of Sancho Panzas and say another windmill boss?

I adjust my lance and my armour and say,

“When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams — this may be madness. Too much sanity may be madness — and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!”

Except I don’t say that Cervantes said that, I simply say

My low rent tickets for my show Auckland this Thursday the 18th are ALL for sale at low low prices at the shows tab

Ps

I’m not complaining! Not even pontificating! Just joculating! Which I hope means joking!

I’m the luckiest folk singer on my street and we’ve had some great houses these past weeks and I’m thrilled

Invercargill

Dunedin

Lyttelton

Taupo

Napier

Gisborne

All went off as they say, and my landlord and my spark bill salute your ticket buying prowess!

Thankyou friends!